**** Top Ten Country & Western Songs ****

10. I Hate Every Bone In Her Body But Mine

9. I Ain’t Never Gone To Bed with an Ugly Woman But I Woke Up With a Few

8. If the Phone Don’t Ring, You’ll know it’s me

7. I’ve missed you, but My Aim’s improvin’

6. Wouldn’t Take Her to A Dogfight ‘Cause I’m Scared She’d Win
5. I’m So Miserable without You It’s like You’re Still Here
4. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Miss Him
3. She Took My Ring and Gave Me the Finger
2. She’s Lookin’ Better with Every Beer
=== And the Number One Country & Western song is…
1. It’s Hard To Kiss The Lips At Night That Chewed My Ass All Day Long.